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Missing Karla
September 25, 2004
By TERIMADDOX
Belleville News-Democrat
Father of teen who killed herself seeks compassion for others.
The Shiloh policeman didn’t have details when he knocked on Tom Smith’s door and told him his 26-year-old daughter had been found dead in Tulsa, Okla.
Tom didn’t need details. He knew Karla, a student at Oklahoma State University, had killed herself.
Tom, and his wife Fran, had spent seven years dealing with Karla’s mental illness, eventually diagnosed as bipolar or manic depressive. It’s a disorder characterized by periods of high anxiety and deep depression.
Karla had tried to commit suicide several times. But she also had experienced success with medication, prescribed to counteract the chemical imbalances in her system.
“(Karla) was very, very intelligent,” Tom said. “She was charming. She was beautiful. She was a superb writer. She was three classes away from getter her bachelor’s degree in English literature when she shot herself.”
Karla died on Jan. 13, 2003. In the past year and a half, the Smiths have turned their grief into action.
Karla’s twin brother, Kevin, 28, of St. Louis and a friend have developed a website, inmemoryofkarlasmith.com, to provide information on mental illness. Fran, a retired principal at Queen of Peace Catholic School in Belleville, has participated in support groups.
Tom has written newsletter articles and appeared t conferences for health-care professionals and ministers. He hopes to publish a book.
“Being public about it is our way of lending support and raising awareness so people will become more comfortable with this illness and get the help they need.” Said Tom, 63, who is director of pastoral services with the Catholic Diocese of Belleville.
On Oct. 3, Tom will kick off Mental Health Awareness Week by speaking at Blessed Sacrament Catholic Church in Belleville. The interdenominational candlelight service begins at 7 p.m. The public is invited.
The service is being organized by Linda Chambers, 49, of O’Fallon. Her son, Brent Miller, 27, was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia in 1998.
In the past year, Linda has been working to develop a “mental health ministry” at Shiloh United Methodist Church. She wants to fill a spiritual void left by many treatment and support programs.
“We want to make people with mental illnesses aware that they are welcome in faith families,” Linda said. “We want people in faith families to welcome them as the people they are and not just focus on their illnesses.”
Karla grew up in Tulsa, where Tome worked as a director of education for the Catholic diocese and later as a training specialist for American Airlines.
Tom described Karla as an energetic, outgoing teen-ager who began keeping a journal in seventh grade. She was active in student council, speech, and drama.
Karla attended the University of the Incarnate Word in San Antonio, Texas, for a year. She transferred to Oklahoma State University in Stillwater because she had opportunities for European study.
The Smiths began noticing changes in Karla during her sophomore year of college. Her energy level dropped, and she complained of not being able to write a book report.
“Within two months, she had dropped a couple class,” Tom said. “She received incompletes in a couple more, and she ended up coming home without finishing the semester. She was very clearly in a deep depression at that point.”
Karla stayed in her bedroom for days at a time, unable to relate to family and friends. A psychiatrist prescribed anti-depressant medication.
That began a seven-year period of ups and downs with accompanying adjustments in drug treatment. Karla went to the Netherlands to study by returned during another bout with depression.
Karla first attempted suicide at her parents’ house by overdosing on pills. She made an anguished call to her mother, who worked nearby and took her to the hospital.
“I am no longer a poet,” Karla had written with lipstick on the bathroom mirror. “I have no words.”
Karla went through two periods of manic or high anxiety. They were characterized by sleeplessness, paranoia, tremors and a million thoughts crowding into her head.
At one point, Karla frantically filled notebooks with detailed plans for a university she was going to build. Classes at “Tapestry” would be open to people from all walks of life, she told her father, including homeless.
The Smiths enjoyed something of a reprieve from 1999 to 2002. Doctors seemed to prescribe the right combinations and doses of medication, and Karla was diligently taking it.
“That’s the period when she went back to school and stabilized,” Tom said. “She made some new friends and reconnected with some old friends.”
Then Karla had an alarming setback. In January 2003, she walked out of her job as a waitress, failed to convince a depressed friend to make a murder-suicide pact and slipped into a catatonic state.
Karla ended up in a mental hospital, where doctors called her “undermedicated.” They made adjustments in her drug treatment and released her after 10 days, against her parents’ wishes.
Karla shot herself three days later with a friend’s 22-caliber rifle. The bullet went through her heart.
At Karla’s funeral, the Smiths were struck by the number of people who talked to them about friends and family members with depression bipolar disorder and other mental illnesses.
“About every 10th person in line (shared a personal story).” Tom said. “…I suspect that every family has someone with a problem.”
At speaking engagements, Tom prefers not to focus entirely on Karla’s story. He notes many other people with mental illness are treated successfully and able to live productive lives.
Tom asks the “faith community” to avoid thinking of mental illness as punishment for sin or unholy behavior. He calls on churches to take a lead on showing compassion and promoting social change.
“There are millions of people who are ill in our society, and there are some things we need to do about it,” Tom said. “We need to remove the stigma, which is still prevalent.”
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