Coping Strategies

Sold online at these locations: (click on logos to access the site) "An invaluable resource. I wish my own loved ones had had it sooner, and I'll be sharing it with them now. Highly recommended." Marya Hornbacher, author of Madness: A Bipolar Life

The following nine strategies offer hope for balance in your life as you support a loved one with mental health problems. These strategies are used as guidelines during our KSF Mental Illness Support Group meetings.

	1 Help our loved one find and continue to take the medication needed for a balanced life. It is essential that a person with a mental health problem takes proper medication in order to live a balanced life. Family and friends of this person need to know what the medication is, the effects it has, and the doctor who prescribes it. If for some reason the medication is no longer effective, the person quits taking the medication, or the side effects become unmanageable, it is the family and friends who often need to intervene and help guide the person back to the medication needed for a balanced life.
	2 Urge our loved one to maintain a supportive relationship with a therapist, counselor, or sponsor. Along with medication, some form of “talk therapy” is critical for someone with mental health problems. Family and friends can be invaluable in supporting this need for counseling and in assisting their loved one find a therapist, counselor, or sponsor who truly helps the loved one cope with the mental illness. Most often, it is also valuable for the family and friends to seek some form of talk therapy themselves.
	3 Learn as much as we can about the mental health problems of our loved one. The more we know about the specific mental illness of our loved ones, the more we can understand their behavior, thoughts, and feelings. This knowledge is the doorway through which we can relate to our loved ones with compassion and practical help.
	4 Assist our loved one in developing a healthy self-esteem since it is critical for a balanced emotional life. Many people with a mental health problem suffer from a damaged self-esteem. Their self-esteem is often either too low or too high. Family and friends are in a position to observe the level of self-esteem in a loved one with mental health problems and to respond appropriately. This ability to observe and respond appropriately implies that the family and friends acquire the skills needed to make these observations and responses.
	5 Accept the mental health problem as a fact of life for our loved one even though this mental health problem does not encompass all of life. A mental disorder can become the exclusive focus of the life of a person with mental health problems and for the family and friends of this person. There are two stages to this strategy: 1) to accept the fact of the mental health problem – often a difficult challenge for both the person with a mental illness and for family and friends; 2) once this fact is acknowledged, it is equally crucial to accept that the disorder does not encompass all of life, that there are also other parts of life that deserve attention and focus.
	6 Take care of ourselves by proper exercise, sleep, diet, relationships, and by monitoring our feelings. Often a person with mental illness requires special attention from family and friends. This extra attention can be time consuming, intellectually challenging, and emotionally draining. It is vital that the family and friends take care of their own needs for exercise, sleep, and proper diet. They must also devote time and energy to other relationships in their life, and to identify and express their honest feelings about their loved one with a mental illness.
	7 Become a supportive network of family and/or friends who know about the mental health problem and who commit to acting in the best interest of our loved one as far as we are able. It is most helpful for family and friends to form a network of support among themselves as well as with their loved one with mental health problems. A shared knowledge of the illness and a shared responsibility for the loved one offers the best opportunity for a balanced life for everyone. This network will therefore require commitment to the loved one and to each other, including a commitment to resolving conflicts when they arise. To expand this network, family and friends can consider joining a national organization like the National Alliance for Mental Illness (NAMI) or the Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA).
	8 Identify the early warning signs that precede a more difficult phase of the mental illness, and help our loved one when these signs emerge. One of the most important roles of the network of family and friends is to monitor and identify early warning signs of a change in the thinking or behavior of their loved one. Often a change in medication or the effectiveness of a medication, a stressful situation in life, a change in a relationship, etc. will trigger the onslaught of a more difficult stage of the mental illness. The quicker family and friends identify this change, the quicker they can gently intervene and help return their loved one to a more balanced life once again.
	9 Acknowledge our dependence on a Higher Power and seek guidance from that Higher Power in whatever way that is comfortable to us. Most people in our society acknowledge a belief in a Higher Power, whom many identify as God. Mental illness is baffling, to say the least, and utterly destructive, to say the most. In coping with the mental illness of a loved one, many family and friends know that our efforts, support, and effectiveness are limited. We recognize that at some point we are powerless over the illness and over our loved one. Incorporating our belief in a Higher Power, however we understand that belief, offers another dimension to our coping with the mental health problem of a loved one.