August 22, 2008 - Erase the Stigma Conference
2nd annual Erase the Stigma Conference at the Shrine of Our Lady of the Snows. For more information or to register for the conference please email: ksf@karlasmithfoundation.org
Foundation Supports Families, Friends of Mentally Ill
By Holly Wagner
Quincy Herald-Whig
Posted on Tuesday, Aug. 15, 2006
The grief that accompanies the death of a loved one by suicide is a unique grief, says Tom Smith.
His daughter, Karla, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder when she was 19. At age 26, in a deep
depression, she took her own life.
Tom, Karla's mother, Fran, and her twin brother, Kevin, were at a loss over how to deal with her
illness when she was alive and how to cope with the sorrow of losing her. The Belleville area family
formed the Karla Smith Foundation with the desire to help the families and friends of the mentally
ill and to support those left bereft when the illness leads to suicide.
They will speak at St. Peter Church at 7 p.m. Wednesday, sponsored by the church's Bereavement
Committee. The free program will be held in the Martha Jane Room on the lower level of the church.
Anyone who loves someone with a mental illness finds their life "knocked out of balance," Tom said.
"We focus on hope for a balanced life."
Since mental illness carries such a tremendous stigma, "people are loathe to share," Fran said. As
a result, "they don't know where to turn."
"We formed the foundation in order to supply some of that for people," Tom said.
The family has developed nine strategies for dealing with a loved one's mental illness and also have
published a book, "The Tattered Tapestry," about their experiences.
"When people realize they share experiences, it gives them hope that they are not totally alone in
their battles with mental illness," Fran said.
And they are not alone, Tom said. Everybody knows someone whose life has been touched by mental
illness.
About 40 million people are diagnosed with mental illness every year, he said. About 2.5 million of
them have bipolar disorder and one in five will die by suicide. In all, 30,000 people commit suicide
every year - about one person every 16 to 17 minutes, he said. Twice as many people die from suicide
as die from AIDS, he said.
"We believe that every suicide is truly mentally ill at the time," Fran said. "We want to bring
suicide out of the darkness and into the light."
Part of what a suicide's survivors feel is shame and guilt, she said. "We always wonder how much
responsibility the mentally ill person has for their life, their behavior," she said. "We wonder,
'What can I do?' It's a difficult balance."
In reality, she said, families and friends probably could have done nothing.
"We want to affirm people's self-esteem," she said. "We are powerless over another person and the
choices they make ... people think their love can make a difference ... if love determined the
outcome, Karla would still be alive."
Teachers may receive two continuing education credits for attending. Reservations are requested and
may be made by calling 222-3155.
Suicide is the second leading cause of death in Illinois for those ages 15 to 24, said Martha Rapp,
pastoral associate for St. Peter Church.
"It's important to educate people on the signs and symptoms of mental illness as well as support
people who have gone through this loss," Rapp said. "We believe there is a huge need for this
information in the community."
